Real Freedom Requires Heart Change

Here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish;
Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.
~ Thomas More

The Bible teaches a lot about the heart—the word is used about 735 times in Scripture. For example, Jesus tells us that “the heart” can be desperately wicked, and Paul says the Word of God can change the thoughts and intentions of our heart. He also gives us an important understanding about the heart’s role in the process of change. In Romans 10:9-10, Paul says: 

“If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.”

This important Scripture is key to understanding how we change our destructive behaviors. Paul says that with our hearts we believe, and what we believe results in how we act—righteousness. In other words, if you want to change your behavior, you have to change your beliefs, which reside in your heart.

One reason we have had so little success in changing self-destructive behavior is that we have tried to change it through our heads, using logic and information. But it’s this limbic system (our heart) that causes us, like Paul, to do the very thing we don’t want to do. It is our survival brain. It doesn’t respond very well to words—only experiences. Science is now helping us understand the logistics of New Testament transformation. Changing the unconscious beliefs in our hearts—the beliefs that drive our self-destructive behaviors—usually begins with a spiritual awakening (being born again). The problem is that the beliefs driving our self-destructive behaviors and emotions are mostly subconscious, and are almost impossible to see or change with our own self-effort. Jesus is all about heart change.  He came to, bind up broken hearts and set the captives free.

The Genesis Process helps uncover, challenge, and help change faulty beliefs that drive destructive behavior. Explore the roots of destructive patterns that keep others—and ourselves—trapped in cycles of bondage including: workaholism, food, anxiety, codependency, sex, shopping, alcohol, porn, substances, and other self-comforts. 

Sobriety Versus Recovery

Quitting smoking is easy, I’ve done it a hundred times.
— Mark Twain

Many people use the term “recovery” when they actually mean “sobriety.” Sobriety without recovery is simply abstinence—a cessation of a negative activity, but not necessarily a state that leads to long-term freedom and heart change. A big part of real recovery is a spiritual process, a partnership of healing of God working through people. The 1st step to recovery begins with sobriety.

To abstain from an addictive behavior.
Addiction: To continue to do a self-destructive behavior despite the consequences; an inability to stop; a loss of control.
Recovery: To return to a former healthy state (i.e., “Who were you before you were hurt by yourself and others?”)

When I do the weekend seminars I always ask the audience; how many of you are addicts? Usually a few people raise her hands. Then I give my definition of addiction, which is; to continue a self-destructive behavior in spite of the consequences. So, I ask; how many of you out there don’t do anything that you know is not good for you. Usually no one raises their hands. So, if you’re doing something that you know is not good for you why don’t you just stop? That’s crazy to keep doing something you know is not good for you. So, why do you keep doing it?  Obviously because it’s there to cope with something. I ask again, how many of you are addicts and almost everybody raises their hands.  Whether it’s food, chemicals, anxiety, anger, electronics, sex, work addiction, we all have adopted coping behaviors that have become habitual.  Real freedom is usually a spiritual process called recovery, which is to return to the person you were before you were wounded and found a way to cope , which in turn helped you do function–– feel normal.

The Empty Place

We all have a void, and a small quiet voice that is trying to get our attention to live as a healthy human being by prompting us to seek intimacy with God and others. We are designed for relationships. Intimate relationships are a foundational necessity for being a healthy human being. From years of working with hurting and addict­ed people, I have come to understand a common root that drives our self-destructive coping behaviors. Human addictive coping behaviors are simply ways to temporarily anesthetize the awareness of the empty place, which can feel like a deep loneliness. This empty place can only be filled by intimacy with God and people.


“The easiest kind of relationship for me is with 10,000 people. The hardest is with one.”
~ Joan Baez

Thought for the Week: Submission

The other day, a woman who had been wounded by legalism asked me about my thoughts on submission. I thought I'd share my answer with you.

I believe the word submission has become very misunderstood because of how Christians and other religions have used it for power, control and abuse both within the church and personal relationships, e.g. wives submit to your husbands. Power is by far our most addictive emotion and we usually use philosophical or religious ideology to condone and justify it. I read recently that the word submission actually is a military term where one rank submits to a higher rank in order to achieve a common goal, thus voluntary cooperation.

Rebellion is the fear of being controlled.


Stress... The #1 Enemy

Stress is the # 1 killer and destroyer of our relationship in the USA.

stress cortisol cycle.jpg

Many are turning to eastern religions because they teach practical tools for reducing stress and its effects. I have developed a Genesis mediation with practical tools for being able to lower stress what drives it. Stress is another word for fear. If you identify the fear (belief system) the stress will go away.

Try it for 30 days and you will see change.